tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2300225859280410214.post4594975947277000332..comments2014-03-31T18:54:45.124-06:00Comments on Wingless Bird: Last wordsSteffany Laurelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08846235073469823558noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2300225859280410214.post-23592399912485893602010-07-09T02:20:30.860-06:002010-07-09T02:20:30.860-06:00i know a story like that. somethings happened behi...i know a story like that. somethings happened behind that kind of story. this stone face was a huge protection for himself that fell later that night as he wished for death. he almost lost sight of why he did it in the first place. but then he thought to himself. that he did it so she wouldnt feel any guilt for what he was making her do. what he slowly made her become. so when it started to happen again he knew it had to end and yet he couldnt find strength for it in the abandoned parking lot where it was his time to follow through on his word. so he knew he would just bring her down with him. so he thought he should break it off. but he knew he couldnt stay away from the girl he gave him reason and happiness. the girl thats the reason why he tries to be better every day. the girl that is the reason why he's going on his mission. because if he could leave and become a better person for her when he got back so she wouldnt feel any guilt because that situation would never happen again. but for now he knew he would be able to stay away. so he needed her to hate him. he needed her to not want anything to do with him. so told another girl he liked her. he could never follow through on pretending because he had no desire for this girl even this very second this girl effects him in no way. so he played his role and did what he had to. he let this girl provoke his love. the entire time in his head wanting to stop because he thought he could change for her. but the guilt always came back. so he kept his mouth shut. he told his love in a way to calm her down to call him later. he didnt answer. knowing that she would come over. he played his role perfectly by talking to the girl in front of his house when his love came. as soon as he saw the lights he knew he couldnt give him any reason to come back. none. so he kept his cold reserve while she begged him for some remorse and some reason. every part of his body was screaming out to fix it. to do whatever it took to just fix it. and then the guilt came back. he knew that without him she could have it all. the happiness without the guilt with someone else. so every night before he goes to bed his wishes for death for what he did. because he still believes he couldve changed. if it wasnt for his guilt he could've had his happily ever after. with her. his everything. but she's gone. and she's happy. which in the end is what he wanted. so why isnt he happy? didnt he get what he wanted? is he so selfish to ask for her back because as much as she said she needed him it was her that made his life perfect. what it truly was supposed to be. but he's willing to suck it up. to live with this empty shell of himself. until it eventually breaks him. because maybe one of these nights he can get what he has been wishing for before bed every night. he wont have to worry about get anymore because he wont be their to hurt her like he has been. he once had the key to her heart but had to give it back. and ended up breaking her heart in the process.. the joy that he once had every day with her is gone. and its all his fault. he has joy in nothing but memories...notes....pictures. but she need not worry about this because the statue that she broke away at was already dying from internal bleeding. and maybe someday soon. he can just let go. not of her. never of her. but of everything else. and that hard statue can lay somewhere forever with the writing on it of one of the fondest memories he has. 2 times more than you could ever love me.giving-back-the-keyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16652037323514227972noreply@blogger.com