Broken Glass

I took off and left that room behind.

Anger, pain, and helplessness on my mind.

I ignored the sign with the black numbers.

Those numbers will not change anything,

They will not choose my fate.

As i stopped at the light,

Terrible thoughts i had to fight.

Why not just take control of something?!

Anything... Cause i have lost it.

Im numb from all the false hope.

Just take control!

End everything with one hard blow.

Why must i always be so close to the gold,

before it disapears?

And that is why i thought to do it,

Just let drastic happen... it happens to me anyway.

Why not be in charge for once?

I sat there at the light with tears pooled up in my eyes.

And my foot on the brake is what i most despised.

Of course i wouldn't,

I know i shouldn't,

But sometimes, i think it would be easier than life.

It would focus on something else besides the strife.

Its hard sometimes, but... i will make it through.

I will.

Puppet

My head cant stop thinking,

That would be like asking the sun to not set,

Or asking a gambler to not be in debt,

Its like telling the world to stop its spinning,

Or the champion to stop winning.

I cant control what you may do,

That would be like controling the rain,

Or telling a psychotic to be sane,

It would be like being able to fly,

Or telling an addict to never get high.

And those things that i cant stop from happening,

Bend me,

Shape me,

Move me...

And yet, i am not sure why i let this happen,

For i cannot control them,
But they control me.

Find Out What is Means to Me...

Today is not unlike many other days in my life,
Unfortunately it is a day to me of grief, of strife.
The meaning of the word you want me to act, you cant,
That meaning you dont know, but of it to me you will rant.



Do this, do that, its not right, respect me.
Over and over again.



It is not just my fault, although you blame it on my "stupid action"
Sure, you get me fired up and what else do you expect but a reaction?
The feelings we both have over this are strong,
Only cause we both feel in the wrong.



Do this, do that, its not right, respect me.
Over, and over again.



I sometimes envy those who dont contantly battle this
Because i know for sure, this sort of thing i wouldnt miss.
But we are all given a deck of hard cards at some point in time,
And i suppose that this is just another one of mine.



Do this, do that, its not right, respect me.
Over, and over again.



My adittude over this problem may be sore,
But many times over this i have been hurt to the core.



Do this, do that, its not right, respect me.
Over, and over again.



Im trying.
And you may accuse me of lying.
For that isnt out of character for you,
But honest and true,
Im trying.


Do this, do that, its not right, respect me....


Over, and over again.




Maybe, respect for you would come easier, if you respected me a little.

Let the good times roll

The time is coming, the days are falling behind me and leaving a trail, a trail of memories.

I maybe sometimes am dramatic

And sometimes i exaggerate a little,

Or the story gets longer everytime,

But,

that is just me, and exaggerated or not,

I have loved this summer

I cant even explain it, cause i went no where,

I saw nothing,

I did nothing all too exciting,

Or found a summer love that i didnt already have.

I just loved it, and of course it is not over yet, but i feel it closing,

and before i feel too sad i must write.... Just perfect, well maybe not perfect but, there isnt much

to complain about.

The family reuninon that lasted a month and a half,

Just family being family, with little girls screaming their joy,

And little boys wrestling in the living room,

All the fam at the park playing on the playground, the parents chatting and the kids just tickled pink that they get to stay so long.

Friends being friends, meeting new people, enjoying them.

Swimming in the pools and watching movies (jaws)

All my dates playing my dad in ping pong, me going to plan b,

My dad getting beat.

Thank you austin :)

Tubing down the river, seeing a bear, falling out of tube, "bear" being a cow.

Climbing on top of a roof, watching the stars.

Wandering around in alice, she got a new tat.

Helping find dog owners

Try to find job.

Kong cones at macey.

Petting pugapoo puppies.

Swinging at the park, white van, not a kid napper.

Iceblocking down the bowl.

Running through the sprinklers.

Watergun fight.

Fugative, loosing juels phone, buy new one, find phone.

Sleeping on the tramp, sprinklers turned on.

Hunting hobos.

Wendys, my treat.

Hide and seek in DI.

Chinese Fire drills, 8 times around car.

Bridal veil falls at night.

Tennis, not very good, snow cones instead.

Failing at finding job, again.

Efy, do what i say, sneak in to dance, success.

Rice king-total hole in the wall.

Petco, poor little betta fish.

Rose tattoo on ankle, blue moon on neck.

Texas trampoline.

Schizophrenic hitchhiker.

Pursuit of happiness.

Loving you.

This summer was outstanding, and maybe i exaggerate a little,

or maybe i am a tad bit dramatic, but take it how you will,

I loved this summer.

Hells Whisper

As the hours press on and the days fade slowly, the seconds melt into minutes of torture...

I cant take the heat anymore...

Its not right, and it shouldn't be melting me the way it does,

but my skin is dripping off my bones and to the floor in puddles all around me.

Hopless i watch my self drip, no idea how to stop it.

I am falling apart because of the heat

The echoes in my mind are scorching my brain,

I can't sit in my own home without the effects working on me.

Cant concentrate, cant sleep without the fire being spit.

I hate it... cause i have tried to be the water to extingish this fire that has sparked.

But my cool and calming words are no match for the firey darts that get thrown.

I hate it... I cant even express it.

The heat has started me on fire and as long as i have tried to blow it out,

My breath is still not cold enough to stop this from burning me and our house down.

I dont have a clue at what i should do.

Just hold on steff...

Dont let this burn you.

Keep our house,

No, my family together.

Home Tweet home

You know those times when it just seems like everything in the universe is aligned?

That is how it is at my grandparents.
My grandma and grandpa brids :)

The grass seems a little greener,
The kids a little cuter,
The dogs a little more excited,
The trees a little taller,
The flowers a little fuller,
The sunset a little brighter,
The weather a little nicer,
The food a little more tasty,
The fish a little swim-y-er?
The birds a little sing songer,
The time a little slower,
The swing a little higher,
The balls a little bouncer,
The clouds a little more fluffy,
The smiles a litte bigger,
The feild a little more adventurous,
The babies a little more precious,
The Barn a litte more red,
The memories a little better.

That is where everything is a little more aligned.
As i sat on the big rope swing on the tall beautiful tree out back,
Life was nothing but bliss,
With so much on my mind it disolved at my papa and mama birds' house.

Ah, home tweet home.

To the Strong...

Leaving their families,

Changing the life style they know.

Many will not make it home.

And others will never forget what they see out there.

Friends, Brothers, Sisters, Dads, Uncles, Cousins, Sons, Daughters, will all be lost...

The sacrifices will not end..

The letters will come and the videos sent but it wont be the same to those loved ones at home.

The uniform so noble and so couragous.

Courage takes them to the service.

The strong will keep us together.

So we sit here in this country enjoying what they do...

In our own safe homes, with all our family members...

But with all we owe them, how often do we thank them?

Sure an occasional mormoral day comes around

And of course fourth of July, but in all honesty...

I Believe we take them for granted.

They are the strong,

They are the noble,

They can be trusted,

They are the protectors of our freedom,

They are the ones i love and i thank.

Thank you, to all who have served, and all that do.

I love living where i am,

I love living free.

I love living in peace and not in fear.

So thank you to all who have given so much for the thousands of people around you.

You all deserve a High pedestal, and rewards in heaven.

I love you and will forever love you.

This country is what it is because of you.

This one is to those who protect us.

This one is to the strong.

In loving memory of Rex Boyed Greenwood.

My loving grandpa, and a member of the strong... i love you and thank you especially.

SuperPower

Once apon a time there was a little girl,

Her hair tied up in ribbons and curl.

Little, blonde and free.

Maybe not as happy as can be.

She grew up like many others did,

But she knew things girls her age shouldnt.

So from the world she hid.

And when asked to speak, she wouldnt.

Deep down inside the little girl cried

As dreams of being a normal little girl died.

But she forced through the pain

And pretended to not see the rain.

For years the little one did this

And over time she sorted things out

The years of agony she didnt miss

But now she knew what life was about.

As this little girl grew older

She wanted to be everyones pain holder,

Something inside her triggered her past

And she didnt want others pain to last.

She knew the pain, cause she once lived it

So she put on a cape and a mask

To go help people and prove they can make it through it.

To find there trouble was her task.

It went well, it did fine, until one day...

The ones she had been trying to save, simply walked away.

She thought, "i am a failure, i tried so hard to save you,

I tried to save your hurt, and your discomfort by just being there...

I spendt hours giving comfort and support... why could i not save you?"

Many days, many weeks, many months past and she struggled just wondering

What could i have done better?

It was a sad and warming day when she realized, she cant save them all,

It was a sad and warming day when she realized, i can try, but i am not a superhero...
It was a sad and warming day when she realized, she didnt have to feel bad about not completely saving someone, after all, it was extra, no one gave her that job.

I am not a super hero...

I tried to save the ones close to me,

I tried, but now i realize i cant stop the hurt from hitting.

It will come anyways.

And that is okay.

The little blonde girl, still feels so strongly about protection,

About trying to prevent others form the hurt she once felt,

But now she realizes, no one is a super hero...
She cant save them all...

She may not be a super hero, but she has a superpower,

Friendship, warning, and empathy when the hurt hits...

She isn't a super hero but she can still help...

What she always wanted.