Wednesday, September 22, 2010


There was a piece of tiny gold thread attached to a tiny golden needle.
It pushed down past my skin, back behind my ribs and around my lungs.
My heart is what it was headed for.

I let it in, thinking it couldnt hurt me anymore than what i already was.
So numb that i didnt even care if it worked or not.
The thread so tiny, i never thought it would heal a thing; fix anything broken.

But when i let it touch my heart... when it brushed my heart, a healing process began.
I was surprised.
I was confused.
I was entrigued.
Before i knew what was happening, my heart moved.
My heart beat, no, my heart pumped again.

My heart had been touched by a tiny little needle with tiny golden thread.
It worked fast, quick, and gentle. Weaving in and out, knowing where to put what and
how to solve the endless puzzle. And before i could remember the pain, my heart was one.

Gold string came into my life.
It was so little so thin i never would have imagined it to captivate my heart.
I never would have thought it to be the thing to collect the broken pieces.
Yet, my once frozen-solid, shattered heart is warm, and the gold thread holds it together.

I may not have any cool scars to show for the stiches i have, but my heart is renforced with gold thread, making it impossible to break again. You stiched my heart, and when you did that. You fixed my world.

There was a piece of tiny gold thread on a tiny golden needle...
and that was all it was...

But i needed to learn, its the small most unexpected things in life that could heal my broken soul.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

I glued a promise to my heart

It was hot upstairs, and the sun shone threw the windows.
As the birds outside, perched on their branches, chirped.
And the bees outside, hummed to and fro each pristene white flower on the overpowering bush out front.
The cool air outside rushed in and brushed my skin as i opened the window,
I traveled through the clutter scattered arcoss the floor, and eyed my favorite place to be.
You said it would be alright if i just slipped right in, so i did.
The sheets and pillows held the delicate scent that i was so familiar with.
Closing my eyes, in total bliss, time flew by and before i knew it, that door was swinging open.
"Honey, Im home!" you said as you smiled and jumped my way.
I couldnt help but giggle, neither could you.
Like a pillow you picked me up and squose me tight between those two strapping arms.
We closed our eyes in total bliss.
After an eternitity, we broke our bond.
You held my hand as you showed me how to navigate through the maze of clutter to get to the computer by the window.
Quickly you turned on the song, my favorite song, and smiled down at me as you took my other hand to place it up on your broad shoulder, my feet slid on to the top of yours.
We swayed, i spun, we danced slowly to the feelings held in the air.
You held me tighter when you played the song again, told me i didnt have to worry.
You would stay this close to me forever.
When the song played again, we danced over to my favorite place, you picked me up and placed me on the sheets and blankets.
We listened. Just listened.
And As it played one more time, i couldnt help it, i held on, i held on to you, and i glued that song to my heart, like i had never done before, the tears pooled in my eyes and they fell. Those tears fell to your shirt, you held me tighter, and whispered the words.
"dont let go, i love you... i love you."
I kept to myself, i knew he did, more than anything, but i knew it was so long before anything could even happen. I shut my eyes tight and thought to myself, how hard i would try to keep you that close. You brushed my hair off my face, and kissed the tears. You meant it, you were, you. That one cold september afternoon, you played my heart strings just right, you touched my soul, as we danced.
The song plays around me and i hear it, i remember how i glued the promise to myself that i would stay close to you. I remember. I remember.
And i whisper.
Goodbye, i swear its not for the last time, i know its not easy, this could never be easy...