Sunday, January 31, 2010

Wind in my Feathers

There is a place far far away.
Where the clouds are fluffy and white.
There is some work but mostly a ton of play.
No one bickers or even wants to fight.
Would you take me to that place tonight?

I would take off my dantey sunflower dress
And kick off my shiney red flats.
Mess up my room until it was the worlds biggest mess.
Own thirty seven siamese cats.
Could you take me to this place perhaps?

Cause i need to escape somewhere
Somewhere anywhere as long as its not here.
I need to breath and relax
A place i dont have to worry about leaving tracks.
I need to retreat from all the thoughts whirling around in my head
Cause i am so particularly tired of crying in my bed.

Look at that little bird flying in the sky,
Twirling and spinning
Diving and chirping.
So free
So wonderful.
I want that to be me.
So would you please take me to this place far far away
So far far away.
Cause i want to be the bird in the breeze today,
And thats the only place that will let me be
A little bird soaring in the breeze.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Sweet Disposition

Dont feel bad for me.

Really i mean it.
I dont want it.

But thank you though.
I know how complainy i have been. Aweful. i know. and i hate it too.
But everyone knows those times when all you can feel is gravity.
Luckily i Have had a monumental thought...
Im on a cloud. Just thinking.
Taking all this in, the smell is sweet.
Surprisingly sweet.

Thank you everyone here to support me.
Thank you to everyone who has givin me a whole harty smile
A genuine compliment, a lift in the coldest of cold.

Thank you family. How i love you guys. More than my life.
We are so blessed. So blessed. I am so lucky to have you.

Most importantly though
Thank you girl. My angel

I hope you realize how great you are for me.
You always raise my spirts. Everytime you inspire me.
Angel Im sorry i've been so negative.
Its not really me. You know that. And i am sorry.
You are the example i have always needed.
I am sorry i must explain myself
Its just that lately its seemed too right to be in the blues
Washed on the shore barely alive...
i know that is no excuse but its what i have felt.
But i dont want it anymore. Not me no thanks. My feelings have adjusted.

A new start please.
Kinda like yours. But not as drastic my dear.
So here i am giving it to me.
I wont stop till ive found it.
You are an amazing gift to me. Honestly.
I love you so much
More than my words can even express.
I wont stop till its over i will not stop until i am me.

Here i come world.
Negative no more.
Sweet Dispostion....
I owe you big time.
Everything seems alright.
Only goning to get better.

And to be quite honest i am excited for this new.
Angel you are always here with me. I Thank you.

Friday, January 22, 2010

A Reply

The universal truth, that thing that manages to always sneek into someones life. That one thing that everyone feels at some point. The one thing that people do anything for. The one thing that people crave, need, long for, want more than air itself. What explains murder, betrayal, lies, hurt and pain. But it also explains the happiest people the sweet inocence of the smiling face. It explains the growing populaion and families. This thing is more powerful then greed, lust, revenge and hatred. Love. This extremely powerful thing, is love.

This four letter word has caused so much...
Without it, no one would ever excell at anything.
A feeling of dull would crowd all our minds.
So i am greatful for this four letter word love.
My friend, asked what is love?
A reply.

Love is the deepest feeling that a person can feel.
Love makes you function in life,
Love makes your dreams become real.
Love is a feeling of absoute caring,
A feeling of kindness, loyalness.
Love is acting on what others need,
Its sacrificing good for something better.
Love is willing to do what is best for a situation.
Love causes pain and hurt, but in the end
it works out because it was felt in the heart.
Love is being interested in what other have to say.
Without another thought you would help them.
Love is giving and caring a sharing.
Love is listening to what others need and what others see.
Love is making yourself better.
Love is expanding your heart.
Letting others in and not letting go of them. Ever.
Love forces you to do hard things somtimes
But it shows that it is true.
Real love is not a physical relation, it is doing what is best for everyone.
Talking to them when they need comfort.

Love can hurt sometimes because,
Love is protecting,
And you may have to take some blows but,
The power of love,
That most powerful thing,
Makes all the pain tollerable because you do love.

To me love is understanding.
Love is amazing.
Love is work, and tears and so many thoughts.

But to me the truth is, love can never be written out,
Cause it is different for everyone.
So love is what you feel no matter what.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

. : . : . : .

A predictable pattern.

Same ride over and over again.

Almost scheduled out.


As predictable as a pattern.

Ha ha i can help but laugh at what i do,

Too bad the laughter is to cover up the pain.

It keeps happening the same way.

And to be quite honest,

Im tired.



A race that never ends.

That feels like my life right now...

Stop complaining steff...

Shut up.

So i do, and i put on a happy face.

Too much information.

I want to be little again, when life was unpredictable.

When i could do things without worry.

When words were so much different.

Shelter i want shelter.

I need to break this pattern.

Get away from myself.

Be someone else.

Someone better.

Break the pattern

That spins me around and makes me sick.

So sick,

So tired,

So predictable.

Hidden Exit

Thank you for actually caring.
For saying those words i needed to hear,
After i poured my heart out on the table.
I appreciate the comfort you gave me.
Cause now i feel like i can float,
Gee thanks.
Am i sarcastic?
ha, your right

Im floating away cause, you aren't gonna hold me down anymore.
You aren't holding me anymore.
So an actual thanks is in order.
ya...nevermind. Maybe later.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

My heart will wait. But will it really?

i cant help but write when something is on my mind.

songs inspire.
songs compliment my feelings and emotions.
they have always matched like that with you too...

So now i wonder,
would you change like this song suggests?
Would you do as it proposes...
I mean after all, you were the one to show it to me....
You push push push,
and i sorta want it too,
just because i aim to please you,
and love to see you smile,
but, the truth is its not what i want.
not what i need.
The smile on your face costs a frown apon mine.
You took me and shook me into a whirlwind before
and now, i am scared i can feel the breeze.

Please dont do this to me...
Please please please...
babe, for me...
After all you were the one that dedicated the song to me.

and i sit and wait, like the song says, but you aren't waiting...

When will you wait?

cause i need time to sit and think and ponder what is best for me...

My heart needs you to wait.
My heart will wait for you.

Disgusting Being

So there is a problem in this little life i call mine,
A contention i wish that wasnt in it.
I have an enemy.
And well to be quite honest
I hate her dearly.

The things she does are all wrong,
SO not what i would do.
What goes through her head?
Does she have a heart?
What is wrong with her....
I have no idea but i do know that
With every ounce of me,
I hate her dearly.

She obviously cannot see what she does to hurt others
And even though she may want good
She can never really stand her ground.
One person can sway her rather easily
And i just cant understand...
What she really wants is never most important...
That doesnt even make sense...
But i do know,
That i hate her dearly.

She just bothers me all the time,
But i cant seem to get her out of my head,
Which just drives me insane!
Ah she needs some serious help
And you know what?
You know,
I hate her dearly.

I bet if she really pursued she could do
What she really wants to do.
But there is always that one thing that can stop her
from fighting that dream, from doing what she believes.
Gosh i just cant stand this girl....
And you want to know what i hate most about her?

i hate that she is me.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Four leaf Clover

There is a part of me that screams inside,
That giggles and wiggles everytime.
Inside my little frame i wonder how i got to be such a lucky
Lucky lucky little girl.
I never believed in the rabbit foot
Or the four leaf clovers but maybe now i do.
Cause i have become the luckiest person.
There is a part of me that laughs inside,
That smiles and loves so much.
Inside my little head i think think think so much and wonder
I wonder what i did
To become so lucky.
I am a lucky little gal,
Not bragging at all cause i didn't choose this fate that has come
This just swept me off my feet,
Blew me away.
Cause i cant help but feel lucky today.
Ah i am just lucky i guess.
And it is all because of you.

Friday, January 15, 2010


Fight it, fight the thought.
Fight. Beat up the thoughts.
Crush the desire.
Stomp it to the ground.
Pummle the addiction.
Fight it.

Be strong.
Use every ounce of you to do what you truly want.
Fight this.
Fight this.
Your future depends on the fight you are in.
Kick it down and out of your sight.
Do it for yourself.
Do it for your future.
Fight it.
Fight this, even though you want to love it.
Fight it, even though you love it.
Fight fight fight.

Be strong.

Be strong.

You have to be strong.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Ugly born Beauty

Nothing is more beautiful than the black and white

Nothing is more beautiful than the fragile new life welcomed to the earth

Nothing is more beautiful than the tears that run down the new parents face

Nothing is more beatuiful than the crush of a wave on the sea shore

Nothing is more beautiful than the sun shining through the clouds

Nothing is more beautiful than then the chance to say what you truly feel

Nothing is more beautiful than the sweet new buds in spring

Nothing is more beautiful than that smile filling a face that has been so sad

Nothing is more beautiful than the laughter that fills the room with an echo

Nothing is more beautiful than true honest noble friendship

Nothing is more beautiful than the family that loves eachother

Nothing is more beautiful than the snow on a cold winter day

Nothing is more beautiful than the feeling of peace and comfort

Nothing is more beautiful than this world we live in

Nothing is more beautiful than the feeling of pride when you have overcome harship

Nothing is more beautiful than the sweet sound of a newly sung song

Nothing is more beautiful thant the harmony all around us, how the earth works as one

Nothing is more beautiful than the feelings i have when im around you.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Melted Blue Sky

On the edge of a cliff, the wind kisses my face. My hair gracefully dances across my skin. Looking at the endless possiblities, pondering what makes me me. The suns rays warm me like a blanket in winter. Warmth even with the wind. My ten little toes dangle off the edge of the cliff, kicking my legs back and forth i wait. I wait in the comfortable position for it to happen, for the day when everything comes together. The sun keeps moving along the blue stained sky.Laying on my back i admire the clouds and shapes around me, how everything works in harmony. Someday that will be me. Melt me into the scene. I want to be a piece of this scene. Make me like the white fluffy clouds that spin in the sky or the wind that brushes the ground. Maybe even the sun that kisses the earth with its love. Paint me across the clouds for the sunsets colors. Make me the tall grass that dances in the wind, or the stream that flows through and off the cliff. Make me a part of peace. Melt me into the scenery.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Blast from the Past

I found some poems i had forgotten about and well, here they are.
Old and true, i write what i feel, and i like these old ones :)

To whomever doesn’t know me
I hope you see me now.
Perky, bright and blonde
Making everyone think wow.
Me being happy

To whomever doesn’t know me
I hope you are what you want.
Living your fullest dreams
Succeeding your every thought.
With your life being happy

To whomever doesn’t know me
I hope that someday we will meet
So I can help you through trials
And both our lives complete
Oh how happy our lives will be

To whomever doesn’t know me
I hope that you will love the person that you see
Looking back at you Happening to be me.
I Take It Like A Warrior
I take it like a warrior when I head off to the war.
My tired angry soul wanting answers more and more.

I have a fear of letting out those words I long to say.
Cause saying them I’m scared and fear that you may go away.


I take it like a warrior when I head off to the war.
Saving us, that’s what I am doing that is what I’m fighting for.

I have no voice I cannot express the war cry that I wish to yelp.
But someone teach me I don’t know how! Someone someone help!

I take it like a warrior when I head off to the war
And all those awkward silent times that pierce me to the core.

I have no visibility cause you cannot see me as I am,
all my emotions flooding out over this built up dam.

And I just keep taking it like a warrior…

But even warriors come around and strong ones fall to the ground.

And when I do,
The brave warrior will have to be you.
And you’ll have to build up the strength
To find the Armor that you’ve been hiding.
To keep up
This war
This war
This war
That I’ve been fighting.

Together we can fight side by side and I will keep on waiting.
But every moment that I wait, our chances slowly fading.

And I take it like a warrior…
Cause that is what I have become.
Imaginary Conversation
Cry baby girl cry.
I’m sorry for what I didn’t say
As you cry baby girl
I want to take your pain away.

What I did was wrong
And my path of redemption may be long
But you are so worth it to me.
I am as sorry as I can be.

Cry baby girl cry.
Ill be your shoulder to lean on
And as you cry baby girl
I will stay with you until the dawn.

Please forgive me, it wont happen again.
I only wish for it to be how it has been.
Cause it hurts me to see you sad
For what I have done… I feel so bad.

Cry baby girl cry.
Cause those words have not been said.
And as I cry baby girl
They just keep on playing in my head.
I wish that today would be the day,
when those types of things,
are the things you actually say.
Life is a road.
So many places it can take you.
Some are long and boring.
Others are short and exciting.
The place that you are going is set in stone.
How and when you get there is unknown,
But that wont stop you cause your traveling anyways.
You can choose to be bothered
By the stops that come your way
Or you can see them and use them to understand the best way for you to go.
You can comprehend what is going on around you.
If you travel fast on the road you may miss the beauty passing you by.
It is dangerous and reckless
Not giving you anything in return.
On the other hand, if you travel slowly
You will see the signs that are directing you,
You will see the beauty all around you.
Letting you be at peace.
Letting you be safe and happy.
But even when traveling slowly, roadblocks will come.
The road always needs improvement
But don’t let them stop you in your travel.
All you have to do is find the right way around your block, because you still have somewhere important to go.
Empty Shelves
Give your knowledge to those around you,
Everyone wants it and everyone needs it.
Serious and funny, dramatic and light.
Tell them what they want to hear.
How everything will work out just right.
Be the thing they need and search for.
Inspire them, fill them with dreams.
Take them to places they never thought of.
Be the missing pieces they need.
They grow from what they find from you,
Grow from what they read.
I feel like i have become
the bookcase needed from everyone.
So teach me your ways.
Now that, that is who i am.
I love to share my knowlege
I love to give a laugh
To share my books on my shelves.
But i cant give every page of me
Cause what more will i have left?
Books keep coming off the shelf,
Tearing pages here and there.
But a book lacks to come back.
How can i spread my knowledge
if No one returns what i have given out?
I do not mind to be one,
Although my case is getting empty,
I dont mind cause i can help someone.
I wish though that the books rented out
Would get returned once in awhile.
I want to spread what i can give but,
If i have no books left,
No pages to share,
No new stories,
Or things to bare.
Then i have to stock up my shelves again,
From scatch.
For those readers who just keep on checking out.
I want to be that book case for everyone else
To be the bookcase i had once been.
But it is hard when nothing comes back.
So please,
Ask yourself,
What have you checked out?
And most importantly,
From what you have read,
From what you have grown
Have you given a story back?
Has a book been returned?
Poetry, my secret passion pulls me through and i am so glad that i found these today

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Torched Myself, Yet I Smile As i Burn

My dear we are slow dancing in a burning room,
Here we go once again.

The sparks started when our lips first touched.
I know you felt that too.
The heat started, and you and i warmed eachother.
That felt good remember

I had been so cold, but when you and i met, we started to thaw
You had been frozen, frozen in time,
Frozen from your feelings from everything around you.
But that spark lit an amazingly strong fire.
A fire that warmed my heart
My soul my life.
It warmed yours too.
Your heart your soul and your life as well.
That ice that had formed around you melted off your shoulders
And it showed me who you truly were.
That handsome figure
Without that block of ice around you.

That spark started so much and i know it only grew
Cause our feelings acted as the kindel
The feul to this fire we had started together.
And every time another drop of water fell to the floor
Our flame just grew.
Unquenchable fire.
Such a wonderful bright beautiful fire.
That fire warmed you and it warmed me.

We are holding eachother tight cause of this fire
All from that one little spark that started all this

My dear we are slow dancing in a burning room...

those words made me think.

i will not cry about it.

Cause the fact is, we started the fire.
With that one little spark.
And that song implies that everything is falling,
I have been thinking...

We started this beautiful wonderful warming fire.
One that thawed us out,
One that shows us limits that brings me warmth and you too.
This fire has kept us from freezing again.
Because of its power.
The amazing unquenchable power.

It may be burning this room down but it has kept me warm
Im slow dancing in your arms
With the flame that we started surrounding us

As it burns down the room,
It grows.
And it shows.
That those two people slow dancing in the middle of the burning room
Started something strong
That this flame will never go out.


My dear we're slow dancing in a burning room
But i smile cause i know what it shows
You and i warm and thawed completely.
My dear we're slow dancing in a burnig room.