Sunday, March 25, 2012

And then you see why it happened.

The purple tones and rich red in the sky were completely breath taking tonight.
I am glad i have eyes to see the sunsets.

Sometimes in my life i get in little slumps of sadness and stupidity.
And i get stuck there.
And i think i have been sitting in one for a couple of weeks.

But I realized in the last couple of hours of these last couple of days that somethings in life are better left for the big guy to handle. And of course i knew that before, but im a "fixer" as some would say, and it gets to me when i cant fix the right here and now.

I cant fix everything, and not everything needs to be fixed.

I think that in life we need to have an instance where it all comes back, and you remember so clearly, just so you can know what to change, just so you can know what not to do... just to know why you stopped in the first place.

Isnt it interesting how so much good can come from something so not?

I think that sometimes in this life we need to be jolted alittle, we need a catalyst in our life to shake some sense into us, something to get us out of the rut, even though it may be scary or hard.

I am so glad for my amazing life that i have and all the blessings that surround me; friends that care so deeply they will listen to my nonsense histerical crying for hours. Family that will stop and recognize when i need to take a break, when i need to be alone.

As i have thought over the last 48 hours, i have realized some things; i need to improve myself even more than i am.. that its okay that i am weak, becuase i have strong things and people to support me when i fall... that everything is going work together eventually for good.

I think i needed what happened in these last 48 hours to happen.. so that i could take the time to remember, relive, to realize, re-evaluate, redo, repent, and remember again what i really need.

And to most of all remember that;

God doesnt give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need. To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you the person you were ment to be.

And i really believe that.

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