... hmm

But i do know some things for certain,

... hmm :/

You are my Sunshine

Its been awhile since my little heart has felt this tingle.

Its been too long probably. But i sure am glad.

Its been awhile since i felt this motivated,

Its probably been way too long but that is okay.

Its been awhile since the peace has overwhelmed me,

Its been crazy around me, but all i see is the peace.

Its been awhile since i thought this way... with hope.

It has been far overdue, but now i am full with its love.

Its been awhile since i have been this organized.

Actually, i dont think i have ever been this organized...

Its been awhile since i have had this nervous, pure feeling,

Its been too cold to feel anything, but i have thawed and can feel again.

It has been while, and yet, i am so grateful for the break,

Cause it is breaks like that, those down times, that lighten the bright.

I love this, this right here right now.

I love this new, i love this pure feeling, i love this all.

Its been awhile since this much change but i am ready.

Ready. Ready. Ready.

Bring it on, i am standing tall today, head held high, stride widened, ambitions greater, and smile bigger than ever.

I owe you an enormous thanks, cause you are my jewel, my gem, a treasure to my heart a possession i have been given as a gift from above, honest, true and pure, you are the answers to my prayers. and i am overwhelmed that i could recieve something like you in a time like this.

Just how it is.

You know when things just fit together to work for good?

Even though you thought everything was in a downward spiral?

Yep. That happened to me.

Humble? yes.

Glad? like i have never been before.

Train Ties

You know all the things i hoped for have been fading.

Where my life is going i have been debating.

But the truth is, i REALLY just dont care anymore

I am taking the first train out of here,

I dont want to be in this mess of a town anymore.

I was prepared to leave once before

But you caught me before i left.

I am not even looking back.

I am taking the frist train out of here.

Oh wait, i already did.

Ah! and how it feels so good.

Taxes

Broken Glass

I took off and left that room behind.

Anger, pain, and helplessness on my mind.

I ignored the sign with the black numbers.

Those numbers will not change anything,

They will not choose my fate.

As i stopped at the light,

Terrible thoughts i had to fight.

Why not just take control of something?!

Anything... Cause i have lost it.

Im numb from all the false hope.

Just take control!

End everything with one hard blow.

Why must i always be so close to the gold,

before it disapears?

And that is why i thought to do it,

Just let drastic happen... it happens to me anyway.

Why not be in charge for once?

I sat there at the light with tears pooled up in my eyes.

And my foot on the brake is what i most despised.

Of course i wouldn't,

I know i shouldn't,

But sometimes, i think it would be easier than life.

It would focus on something else besides the strife.

Its hard sometimes, but... i will make it through.

I will.

Puppet

My head cant stop thinking,

That would be like asking the sun to not set,

Or asking a gambler to not be in debt,

Its like telling the world to stop its spinning,

Or the champion to stop winning.

I cant control what you may do,

That would be like controling the rain,

Or telling a psychotic to be sane,

It would be like being able to fly,

Or telling an addict to never get high.

And those things that i cant stop from happening,

Bend me,

Shape me,

Move me...

And yet, i am not sure why i let this happen,

For i cannot control them,
But they control me.

Find Out What is Means to Me...

Today is not unlike many other days in my life,
Unfortunately it is a day to me of grief, of strife.
The meaning of the word you want me to act, you cant,
That meaning you dont know, but of it to me you will rant.



Do this, do that, its not right, respect me.
Over and over again.



It is not just my fault, although you blame it on my "stupid action"
Sure, you get me fired up and what else do you expect but a reaction?
The feelings we both have over this are strong,
Only cause we both feel in the wrong.



Do this, do that, its not right, respect me.
Over, and over again.



I sometimes envy those who dont contantly battle this
Because i know for sure, this sort of thing i wouldnt miss.
But we are all given a deck of hard cards at some point in time,
And i suppose that this is just another one of mine.



Do this, do that, its not right, respect me.
Over, and over again.



My adittude over this problem may be sore,
But many times over this i have been hurt to the core.



Do this, do that, its not right, respect me.
Over, and over again.



Im trying.
And you may accuse me of lying.
For that isnt out of character for you,
But honest and true,
Im trying.


Do this, do that, its not right, respect me....


Over, and over again.




Maybe, respect for you would come easier, if you respected me a little.

Let the good times roll

The time is coming, the days are falling behind me and leaving a trail, a trail of memories.

I maybe sometimes am dramatic

And sometimes i exaggerate a little,

Or the story gets longer everytime,

But,

that is just me, and exaggerated or not,

I have loved this summer

I cant even explain it, cause i went no where,

I saw nothing,

I did nothing all too exciting,

Or found a summer love that i didnt already have.

I just loved it, and of course it is not over yet, but i feel it closing,

and before i feel too sad i must write.... Just perfect, well maybe not perfect but, there isnt much

to complain about.

The family reuninon that lasted a month and a half,

Just family being family, with little girls screaming their joy,

And little boys wrestling in the living room,

All the fam at the park playing on the playground, the parents chatting and the kids just tickled pink that they get to stay so long.

Friends being friends, meeting new people, enjoying them.

Swimming in the pools and watching movies (jaws)

All my dates playing my dad in ping pong, me going to plan b,

My dad getting beat.

Thank you austin :)

Tubing down the river, seeing a bear, falling out of tube, "bear" being a cow.

Climbing on top of a roof, watching the stars.

Wandering around in alice, she got a new tat.

Helping find dog owners

Try to find job.

Kong cones at macey.

Petting pugapoo puppies.

Swinging at the park, white van, not a kid napper.

Iceblocking down the bowl.

Running through the sprinklers.

Watergun fight.

Fugative, loosing juels phone, buy new one, find phone.

Sleeping on the tramp, sprinklers turned on.

Hunting hobos.

Wendys, my treat.

Hide and seek in DI.

Chinese Fire drills, 8 times around car.

Bridal veil falls at night.

Tennis, not very good, snow cones instead.

Failing at finding job, again.

Efy, do what i say, sneak in to dance, success.

Rice king-total hole in the wall.

Petco, poor little betta fish.

Rose tattoo on ankle, blue moon on neck.

Texas trampoline.

Schizophrenic hitchhiker.

Pursuit of happiness.

Loving you.

This summer was outstanding, and maybe i exaggerate a little,

or maybe i am a tad bit dramatic, but take it how you will,

I loved this summer.