Drown me in Nostalgia

I remember the smell of your shirt when you took it off your back and offered it to me as we sat down at the lake. I can still picture your face looking out at the lake. You were smiling. But it wasnt just a smile worn on your mouth. It shown through your eyes too... it was the smile you only gave to me... my favorite smile in the world.. I remember thinking how perfect the moment was... And it was perfect. There was a breeze whipping my hair around. I wore your flannel shirt to keep me warm. The moon shone on the water as it gently lapped up on the shore line... I close my eyes and it replays in slow motion like an old time movie...


I remember the deep red in the roses you brought me when i was done with my show. You surprised me, cause i didnt even think you were coming. But you stood there all by yourself smiling holding 12 red roses just waiting to give them to me. I kept those roses for three weeks, i couldnt bring myself to throw them away...


I remember climbing into the photobooth laughing my head off cause i was draggin you in. We were wearing matching shirts. Yellow. You looked so cute in yellow. I thought i knew everything so of course and i got the camera stuck at the bottom of the screen. You were too big for the booth in the first place so ducking down to the level of the camera was hilarious. Neither of us could stop laughing. 3 pictures of us laughing. And the last was the only planned one. Its still cant help but laugh and smile everytime i see it. My photobooth dream is my favorite picture.


I remember the cool breeze and watching the colored leaves fall all around us. I closed my eyes and smelt the chilled smell just before snow comes. I snuggled up into your navy blue sweater like i was getting close to a fire... you and i sat there together for only a half hour.. I talked. You listened. You were always a good listener... that was the moment when i realized really how much you ment to my little heart. I looked at the zipper on your sweater and i thought to myself that you would always be there for me and i knew it.. engrained in my mind is the ykk that sat on your chest that day...


I remember pulling on my hat to cover my ears and sticking my feet in snow boots- thinking they looked so silly, cause well, i wanted to be cute for you but i wanted to be warm too.. I headed up to your house and you smiled as you saw my snow getup... We held hands through our gloves and you led me to the sledding hill. We shared a sled. I screamed really loud when we tipped over in the snow, but it funny and we layed there laughin in the snow just looking at eachother. Someone started a snow fight and i got in the middle of it. Your friend shoved me to the ground. My head stopped the fall... it hurt. But i held in the tears trying to be brave ... before i knew it you had me in your arms and were carring me inside... you whispered in my ear.. "its okay i got you"... and i let the tears fall on your shoulder... my knight in shining snowsuit.


I remember being suspicous of what you were doing cause i knew something was up. You called me and told me to come to your house. I arrived and you told me to close my eyes. You took my hands and led me to your back porch. I opened my eyes and frankly it was perfect. You had spent all day making your porch the perfect setting. You had strung lights everywhere, they softly glowed in the background. The sun was setting just over the lake, the oranges and pinks and purples painted the sky. Candles were on the beautifully decorated tabletop. My favorite flower, food, and dessert sat on the table waiting for me to partake... You tried to get tickets for my favorite singer, but it was sold out so you turned on her cd.. You asked me if i would dance with you, and so of course we did. We danced that night- under the sunset, under the lights.. to my favorite songs.. with my favorite person...


I remember giggling as i ran in your overly sized clothes to my car... you chased me there. I sat against my car and you leaned down smiling with those big brown eyes and kissed me. You opened my door and i climbed in but i wasnt ready to go. I wanted to go back to the couch were we had been and go back to sleep just to wake up to you watching me again... but i couldnt... you closed my door, drew a heart on my window... and watched me drive down the road... You held up those big hands above your head like the proudest person in the world... you wore that huge smile on your face... and you made a heart with those hands.. I watched from my rear view mirror until i couldnt see you anymore...


I remember i do... I remember... do you?



It supposed does not matter if you do or dont, but i have learned in this little life of mine...


Not to cry because its over, but to smile because it happened.




I live. I laugh. I learned. I loved.

Life is good.