Thursday, August 18, 2011

Home is wherever

Ive been walking out front becuase that was once a safe place...
Because that is where home was... with that brown eyed boy
Ive been pacing out front waiting and hoping for the door to open
but i just put miles on my shoes this way cause the lock wont turn.

I have been here waiting, remembering what steps i took with you
What places you took me to, and how you went there smiling.
My shoes are worn down, and i dont want to wait, but i stay here...
At the steps that i took with you once apon a time and i wait.

Its point less to wait here. I know that. Because out front a for sale sign sits.
You have moved on. You are gone. The lock will not turn for me again.
I pace out front and watch others walk in... i see the lock open for them... but never for me.
No more should i come to this familiar safe place, its not my home anymore..
Your not coming back.
Im wearing my tennis shoes down in a pointless pace...

As i put one foot in front of the other i remember that last encounter i had with you...

You locked the door and i tried to visit once in awhile- knocked on the door.
You let me in a few times, we sat for an hour in the front room... and made small talk, laughed a little... but i saw your glances at the clock and at the door... so i got up and left...
I heard the lock squeak behind me as i walked down the street. Like I was never there.

You've changed. The lock has hurt me in more than one way, it keeps me from the familar home i once knew... and it has hurt you too. I dont know the brown eyes i once did, for they have changed. And i feel like they have change ever so slowly, but over the time, my familar brown eyes are a different shade... they only look over me... not at me... not like you did for so long... you've changed... I hate the bulky metal unbreakable lock on the door... it has killed my brown eyed boy... it has killed my home.

I have been walking here on the steps i once took to get home.
But now as i realize this lock will not open... i walk down the steps past the "for sale" sign of someone i used to call home...

"home is whenever im with you"

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