Saturday, January 8, 2011

White clouds

I stepped out side my warm home wearing my rather large winter coat, the one i have worn more times than any other thing i own. I closed the heavy wooden door behind me and looked up at the mountains in front of me.. i stepped off my porch with a few steps and began my quite journey... The little ponderous walks i go on to clear my head, to think, to get away, and observe the earth, the people, the anything...

My hands tucked close to my body in an attempt to keep them warm. I plugged my ears into the white wires known as ear buds... and as i slowly walked in the dark i stepped to the beat of the song i needed to hear. The air chilled, it brushed up against my nose and froze the tip... ice hugging the ground. snow on the once summer green grass... i walked by mere streetlight as it fluttered and turned back on as i watched it on my walk... i gazed up at the brightness coming from the tall light post and noticed my breath take a shape, a changing white cloud that raced out of my mouth.. i paused and studied the field i had stumbled across.. so many times had i been here so many different feelings i had felt on this one patch of earth... Guilt, sorrow, loss, happiness, sadness, excitement... this time was different... I had never brought this feeling to the feild before... The bitter cold rushed into my jacket as i slowly unzipped it and laid it on the snow... I laid it out for my body to curl up on... like a dog curling up into its little doggy bed i climbed on to my ski jacket letting my hair cover the snow almost in an attempt to warm the world or at least the cold glitter i laid on... i stretched my arms out and placed them behind my head to make a pillow... and i watched. I laid atop my jacket in the white, cold, glitter on the field under the streetlamp to watch my breath... i gazed up into the universe and wondered, i pondered and i let the cold fill my lungs over and over again just to see the changing white shape of my heat... the stars shone down on me showing me how to do it... i took in the breaths of cold air. i let them pulse through my warm body and freeze my throat and mouth... and with every chilled breath i let in, i made sure to release a warm one... my mind syncronized to this and relpaced every chilled thought with a warm one... The snow glittering like ocean waters under the sun... I laid still in the snow with my hair flowing out behind me... I let the cold take me to a warm place that night... and turned the bitter cold to warmth... everytime.

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