Hindsight

Hindsight.

So sad i couldn't contain my feelings i went out on a drive. As the buildings and people blurred out of sight i found myself far from home. I thought alot about what i needed. What i wanted. why why why... I found myself alone... and hurt... even though promises were made saying you would never... i went back to december, and thought of 2014... it was so hard to wrap my head around everything... i tried to figure out where to go, how to contain myself, how to pick myself up... i decided that going to find a new piece of jewelery would be good for me.... i sifted through so many stores, so many places. It didnt matter how much it cost, but it had to do its purpose.... I couldn't find it... nothing spoke to me, nothing did anything for my broken soul, broken heart... that was until i was leaving the last store, calling it quits, going home, that i found one little rack of rings. And there it was, the perfect fix. A ring, a ring that would take the place of a necklace i once loved. Just the right size, and the only one left only a plain silver band with the words inscribed; "If god brought you to it, he will bring you through it." It was perfect. It was enough for me to remember to live in the future not the past, to live in faith not fear, to have the courage to do what i needed to do.

Hindsight.

Sometimes i look down at my ring and twist it around my index finger. I ponder what i have gotten through recently.. Tonight as i sat in that room, with thousands of people, all there for the same purpose, on a stand i had seen hundreds of times, i looked down at my finger... I read my motto... And i cried at how blessed i am to have what i have in my life and that miraculously i have found the strength somewhere to over come all that i have over come. As i watched that kind, strong, happy, old man come in to that huge hall and every soul in the room, thousands of people, stand in honor of him i realized again the answers to my questions months ago... i realized again what i truly needed, what i truly wanted, and why everything in my life has happened. My life has been like a big puzzle, this had to happen so that that could happen, which caused this to happen which gave me this and this and this... its amazing... i cant wait for the next piece... even though i probably wont realize it until its passed.. Isnt it wonderful when you can just sit and know that were you are at in your life is somewhere honest, and happy and fufilled and full of blessings... Well i had an overwhelming feeling tonight... As i listened to the ringing in the hall that fits twenty thousand people, i was overwhelmed with the feeling that god had brought me to alot of things not just because he could but for a purpose, and that he has always gotten me through it somehow, even if i didnt realize it at first. Tonight got me through.. What a blessing.

Hindsight.