To my smoking hobo and crazy stalker,

Orange and blue cluttered my windows as i drove.
Headlights filled my rear view mirror,
And just got closer and closer until they dissapeared.
However, they were not gone, they were just under my car.
Peering through the "TBIRDS" out back, i saw him.
That crazy crazy man. Tailgating.

Now i dont like it really when someone rides my behind like that.
Alice doesnt like getting close to other cars.
So cause i was a little annoyed i slowed down, forcing that crazy man to stay very close.

This plan maybe backfired a wee bit, cause, then apparently us to cars were playing tag.
And this crazy man wanted to follow me around,
Stop when i stop,
Speed up when i sped up.

Yes Crazy man stop following me.
I lost him, But he tried to run a woman over to get to me and my crazy painted car.

Two days later...

Headed to my Alice with my little sister in toe.
6:00 am.
I open my car door and climb inside.
Court slides in to the passenger seat next to me.
One scary second later, our noses kick in, and the stench of smoke has been smelled.
Like clock work we frantically look at eachother and open the car doors.
My heart is pumping. My eyes quickly scanning to find the smell.
They dont succeed in finding the cause, but they see my car a wreck inside.
All money gone and everything once held in a pocket now thrown on the floor.
I got a new air freshner to try to mask the smell...
It has now worked but at first, smoke-vanillaroma... not a lovely scent.

Maybe alice is cursed, or maybe its the driver, but anywho, whatever it is.
Now i am parannoyed about locking my car. Always. And looking at license plates just in case..

Thank you smoking hobo, and Crazy stalker man.
ON the bright side.
You guys are at least a good story to share