Sunday, March 21, 2010

Tear me Apart

Its hopeless when i open my mouth around you.
I May as well disapear,
Cause you wouldn't even notice if i left...
Well maybe you would but,
The only reason you would is because you needed someone to degrade.
Its hopeless to speak my mind or to tell you your being an ass,
Cause you only argue that i am dumb,
Young and dont know a thing.
Well the truth is you dont know a thing, cause you never ask simple questions.
"how are you steff?" "how was your day?"
Nope nothing. Not unless you are trying to find my faults.
And boy do i love that about you...
And maybe on the rare day when you do ask,
They are to find something wrong, my weaknesses and stupidity.
That is the only purpose.
And to me that is sad.
How did this happen?
You think i hate you, cause i dont talk to you as much as you would like.
But i dont, i just hate the feelings i get when we do talk, so i stay quiet.
Its an interigation of my life, when you ask.
Oh you found the falt? great.
Like i didnt already see it, but that is so nice of you to point it out again,
Then punish me for having it.
Although i am hesitant to admit, cause it may bite me hard later,
I do like it when you are gone during the week.
Cause i feel like a person, not a mistake when you are absent.
I just cant stand this any longer.
You and i always fight, mostly about how i am not to what your standards are.
And if i bring this up to you in person, i will be wrong.
You of course, will be right. Always.
So here i am writing, cause you cant talk back with my feelings here.
My solace.
So i hope you read these words soon, (and i know you will.)
Then maybe you can understand that almost everything i do, is to try to be a good person.
Although you dont see that, or admit it, that is what drives me.
You are so quick to nit pick but rarely ever say good job.
And if i had all the tears i have shed due to you back, i would have a swimming pool.
But i dont and i am dry to the bone.
So please, here me out, i love you.
Im trying so hard.
Please try to see that.
Open your eyes and see who i am,
And not, who im not.


  1. its easy to be upset.
    its easy to feel that someone is always looking for our flaws.
    i feel the same way all the time.
    it helps to write it out.
    and.. of course i am assuming.. but you don't want him to see this steffany.
    trust me.

    i love you.

  2. Mistakes do not define you now, they tell you who you're not.

  3. no, if i had no mistakes, i would be undesirably perfect. i like not being perfect. it reminds me that im human and that i can learn from them and make myself stronger.
    you are still in pain, but i think your doing very well.
    HE is not. a good person.
    he has put you through pain and you have suffered to long. he has been the biggest burden for you and has made you shed so many tears. so please. shed a tear on someone who will love you for you, and not, who your not.

  4. whoever wrote the above statement... if you see this... you have misunderstood my post. it is not who you think... he is a good person, but you and i are talking about two different people.