Winter Cleaning

I have to clean out some thoughts this winter,
So i can start new this spring when every cold thought is gone.

You were there when i needed you,
talked me through anything
I loved you for that.
You were there to make me smile
until my cheeks would kill
I loved you for that.
You were there to call me and sing,
even when you hated that,
so self concious.
I loved you for that.
You talked me through my tears
and whiped them off my face
I loved you for that.
You were the one to notice when i was down
ask if i was okay with those pools of brown eyes
I loved you for that.
You were the one that held me tight,
made me feel like such a lucky little girl
I loved you for that.
You were the one that held my hand
and walked me home
I loved you for that.
You were the one that gave me that jersey i wore every night
felt so close to you, even when you werent there
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would listen when i was just blabbing
pretended like you were listening
I loved you for that.
You were the one that made me squeal when you said those magic words
cause i didnt have a word to say
I loved you for that.
You were the one that showed me so many songs i loved
the ones that i never stopped playing
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would text me goodnight i love you beautiful
making me feel like the most special girl
I loved you for that.
You were the one that massaged my back
cause i was always so tense
I loved you for that.
You were the one that came to me so many times
cause i thought it would be fun, you watched
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would talk with me about how i felt
you would just listen and hold me tight
I loved you for that.
You were the one that made my heart skip a beat
and made me forget how to breathe
I loved you for that.
You were the one that tried so hard to give me your love and attention
making me feel important
I loved you for that.
You were the one that i dreamed about
every night for quite some time
I loved you for that.
You were the one that told me about everything
even though it was painful for you to tell somtimes
I loved you for that.
You were the one that had me over
cause i wanted to see you
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would pick me up
raise me high above everyone else
pretending i hated it but loved every second
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would kiss me so soft so i knew it was sincere
on my hands cheeks and forehead or on the top of my head
I loved you for that.
You were the one that let me sleep
when i was so tired you said okay
I loved you for that.
You where the one that changed your phone time to me
so you could always see that picture,
you loved to show me that
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would make fun of my granola
every time i pulled it out
i would just smile
I loved you for that.
You were the one that gave me so much happiness
always ran through my head
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would let me tag along
even when you were with your friends
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would turn on the music and spin me around
bend down and kiss me then say i love you steff
I loved you for that.
You were the one that called me steff
i told you i liked that one day, you never called me anything else
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would play basketball with me
even tho i stink you liked to show off
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would tell me silly jokes
i acted like they werent funny, they were.
I loved you for that.
You were the one that risked so much for me
cause i was your number one
I loved you for that.
You were the one that went into all the rooms in your house
with me, making each room special, cause i wanted to
I loved you for that.
You were the one that would play car games with me
i let you win by the way babe
I loved you for that.
You were the one that pulled me close all those nights
that felt so natural wrapped up in your arms
I loved you for that.
You were the one that always was there
for just so long, a year and a half
I loved all that time...

Everything happens for a reason right? So this must have a purpose. I have all the faith in the world that someday we will both be uncontrolably happy. Uncontrolably loved by someone who longs with every ounce in them to be with only us, with someone who loves us, just for being us. When nothing can hold us back and all we can do is give. I cant say who or when it will happen but it will happen for both of us. Although this world has been a crazy ride next to you at times i loved every moment of it so thank you. When i was close to falling off the edge you grabbed me up and said you wouldnt let go... You may not even want to hear what i say but thank you for all those sweet sweet memories, for all those wonderful times, those times i will look back on and cherish, all those golden times cause i was with you- The person that made me so happy. Thank you for all the hours you spent just talking on that phone, or all the thousands of texts we sent. Thank you for all the effort you put in. Thank you for all you did. You truly are an amazing person, i will forever hold a special place in my heart for you.

I wonder if you would read this, and cry and laugh and remember just like me...
Do you read it? Can you see how happy you made me? Have you taken in?

If life seem crummy to you know that life happens and sometimes you just have to let go. Not because you have lost all the feeling but because it is best for the situation at hand, for the well being of those involved. For the better of the one you love, because you love them. I dont know where this world will take you or me, but i thank you for all the places that life took me with you. The first person i really loved. I thank you for loving me back. It meant the world to me.

Lessons learned.
your dear steff